Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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