well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
