garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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