So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
