Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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