i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
