my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
