What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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