We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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