Say something about gay babies.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
