We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
