There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
