I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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