check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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