i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
