As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
