STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
