I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
