Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
