So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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