# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
