I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
