put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
