just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
