Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
