Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
