he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
