there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
