I wanna bring you to show and tell
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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