We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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