You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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