Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
