Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
