Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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