i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
