Have you finally orgasmed yet?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
