Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
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