Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Randomize
