Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
