Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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