Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
