can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
sarcasm needs its own font
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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