STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
