What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
