yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
