the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
