I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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