just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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