I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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