my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
